Talk:Naibu Shizuka
Lookin' Good! I'm loving how you developed the techniques. But, you have a mistake in it: Anger. Anger is a synonym of that sin, which is Wrath. Wrath sounds a lot cooler than Anger, in my opinion. Just a suggestion... (: Other than that, lovin' the character! --- Illuminated Void (talk to Void!) 14:36, January 31, 2011 (UTC) :Thank ya much, Kou! The terms been changed, so cheers for the entire concept of the zanpakutō :) Kenji Hiroshi 12:16, February 1, 2011 (UTC) I love this one I absolutely love the concept of this particular Zanpakuto. And the character. At first I thought the Zanpakuto to be another one of those Kyoka Suigetsu clones, but I quickly realized that while it would in my opinion be classed as an Illusionary-Type Zanpakuto, the similarities end there. The abilities are well thought of, and the character equally so. I have to admit, I've not seen a single Zanpakuto more befitting a character than this one, it was really incredible. I can't wait to find out what his Bankai'd be like. Also, it was really original for him to use the "Conversion" concept in his abilities. And how happy I am to finally see a powerful character which ain't a master of every way of combat. There's so many of those at this site. Anyhow. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Njalm2 14:54, February 13, 2011 (UTC)﻿ :Thanks very much, Njalm2 :) But the credit for the zanpakutō's concept, name and release command has to go to Koukishi. I only put together the individual powers, as it was originally only an illusion-type, so I added the orator skills to add a little more flair; thinking it would fit well with his calm personality. As for the abilities, I wanted to show a solely physical fighter, who is still strong without large amounts of spiritual energy, Kidō or Shunpo related skills thrown in. Anyways, thanks again for the comments, dude :) Kenji-Taichō (Talk) 15:41, February 13, 2011 (UTC) I still think its really good though. And the personality and general concept of the character is amazing as well. And that is what really matters, the Zanpakuto concept can be ingenious, but if it doesn't fit the character its all wasted in the end. As the Zanpakuto are made from the soul of the Shinigami who weild it, it makes no sense if they're too far apart in terms of power and personality. Njalm2 18:43, February 13, 2011 (UTC) Jōzai Right, I'll do this in separate sections so as to increase the value of this review. Shikai: Naibu's Shikai is perfectly matched with his personality in that it allows him to turn opponents against one another trough its illusions; making the enemy fight amongst themselves and trough the illusions he can control what they do and thus resolving a conflict without anyone ever getting more than a few bruises. It is ingenius in that Emotionless Characters are hinted at being immune to it, and I also come to believe that its abilities only work as long as a character possesses those emotions at a note worthy scale. As I have so frequently "Spammed" at every oppurtunity that I got. This Zanpakuto is the only "Fair" Illusion-Type out there: Koukishi is a freaking genius, it is undeniable. Though you yourself have a lot of credits in regards to creating a character which fits it so nicely. The Shikai also has many evil sides though, as it is able to completely destroy friendships, families and such, and because of its illusionary qualities; perhaps forever. The Zanpakuto is also in no way remotely similiar to Kyoka Suigetsu: Other than being an Illusion-Type, of course. This I find to be incredibly good, seeing as most Illusion-Type Zanpakuto out there are simply copies of that Zanpakuto (One of the people even went as far as to make his Kyoka Suigetsu-clone even better than the original!) God how I love this Zanpakuto, there are however a few bad points though... GAH! Who am I kidding, there are none!! The Shikai is as close to perfection as at all possible! Node Summary: *+ - Well written. *+ - It is only able to control a single sin at a time. *+ - It has the vibe of not working on certain individuals. *+ - It is seemingly only able to amplify already existing emotions. *+ - The idea is VERY original. *+ - It doesn't have any "Copycat" qualities AT ALL. *+ - Its Illusions can seemingly be resisted if one is aware of its abilities beforehand. While it appears hard *+ - Finally, its just ingenius - and it flows very well with Naibu Shizuka himself. 10/10!: I have not a single bad thing to say here, and it annoys me! Well, not really, Its good to not have to be the jerk SOMETIMES! PS: Don't make it into a habit though... Bankai: Ohohoh! I love how Hiroya's and Naibu's Bankais are rather similiar: In that both, when in Bankai serve to make a 180'degrees turn towards what Hiroya's and Naibu's wishes are, and instead become restented, and in Hiroya's case, even feared by their respective Shinigami. Naibu's Bankai is actually very similiar to Tsukuyomi from Naruto, though only in how it is set up, by drawing the subject into an illusionary world: Once inside, it is very unique in that it both serves to inflict tremendous metal trauma while overloading the opponents senses to horrid degrees (I can only imagine that the accumulated mental pressure would be immense, and that it can easily drive its subjects to insanity) I can only say that no human could ever hope to withstand this ability; most humans have fears, dark secrets and the likes, and the abilities of this Zanpakuto would immedeatly crush them. I think that using this more than once on a single individual would reduce them to babbling blobs, without hope of salvatation. It is THAT cruel an ability. If Jōzai is salvation, thus cleansing of sins, Tenrai Jōzai is divine retribution on its most gruesome: Once again, you've managed to account for its immense power with equally limiting weaknesses, which is really good! You've made it so that it quickly drains his energy resserves which actually gives it something most Bankais doesn't have: A time limit. Node Summary: *+ - Once again, well written. *+ - Very powerful, but reasonably so. *+ - Once again, it has a vibe of not working on certain individuals. *+ - It doesn't seem to require the emotions to be significant as long as they exist somewhere, which is good. *+ - The idea is VERY original, same as the Shikai. *+ - Once again, no "Copycat" abilities. *+ - It works well, in a contradicting sort of way, with Naibu's personality. Afterwords Right, I really think that Hiroya and Naibu should meet sometime, given their personalities I think they'd get along very well, both seem to want to find peaceful solutions to conflicts and both are unwilling to resort to more sheer force than generally nessecary. They'd very likely become friends quite quickly, the only problem is that Hiroya, being who he is could grow to become abit "Too" fond of Naibu; though he'd respect him enough not to burden him with it if that happened. At any rate, I hope we can roleplay in the future! Regardless of characters! Njalm2 20:47, March 7, 2011 (UTC)﻿ Naibu Shizuka - Formal Review Introduction Naibu's Introduction is good and scarce, while it still seems to get the point across, though I somehow want to know about his location and such, its not actually very important but it makes the text flow better and adds another concise bit of information to his character as a whole. The lenght is in my humble opinion what an Introduction should be at the very least. It gives a good bit of information and compels me as the reader to read more, and it doesn't lose it appeal too quickly either; as I frequently visit this site just to read about him (I've even added him to my "Favorite Pages") I also like the fact that it mentions that he's pretty much just a babysitter for the younger generation; I was however abit surprised that you didn't classify him as a Rogue Shinigami, as that is technically what he is, though, I assume it is plausible that as a member of the Ryu Order he's no longer concidered such. 8/10; due to the fact that it leaves out some sort of information that I personally want to see, though this is but a personal opinion. Appearance This was done very well indeed, and I actually wrote some of Hiroya's appearance in a similiar style like you've applied here - I always enjoy characters like this, where you put great detail into explaining his appearance. The small allegation to his eyes also provide a nice little surprise, and it gives his appearance more depth; which serves to give on detailed pictures in the head - the picture you found also serves to increase the amount of information highly; and his appearance is perfect for his Zanpakuto (and yes, that DOES matter) This part of the article is also quite respectable in lenght, but not a single word is wasted and you don't use flowery words either, which is one of your best qualities as a writer; though I still think you could expand abit more upon it, in more or less spiritual appearance, I've done something like this on Hiroya and it serves to explain a few personality traits which play a large role in how people see him - which is also relevant to appearance. 8/10: The text is solid and easy to read, as well as sporting a great amount of detail - the only drawback in my opinion is that it seems somewhat incomplete, as I explained above. Personality This is in my opinion so good a section that I read it many times over at each visit on his article: Its described very well and it fits perfectly together with his Zanpakuto and his appearance, which you actually stated in the section itself. Its clear you've spent a lot of time writing this section as there are no spelling errors in sight I like the fact that you've explained in-depth his exact relationship with Kenji, it makes him seem more humanoid in my opinion: Though I was abit confused by this one "Kusaka Kori has stated that Naibu is a strange one, because of his likeness to Kenji Hiroshi being the sole reason for the statement" - It doesn't seem to make any sense to me and no matter how much I read I can't help but think (What is the sentence about anyway!?) I however enjoy the great similarites he has to Hiroya the most though, they're both characters whom value peace and diplomacy higher than battle; though I can only imagine it to be by different degrees. This section gets a 9/10 because of the great detail in which it is written, but something - and don't ask me to explain it but "something" seems to drag it down slightly. Powers & Abilities Right, this is needlessly to say an important section of any character, especially so for more powerful ones - first time I read this I was however shocked; as I didn't find any indication of him being a Kidō Master, something that I had been expected like VERY much; the reason for this is his appearanc, the way he dresses, his appearance, yes even his facial features more or less SCREAM "Kidō Master" - so yeah, it was a large shock. Allright, first off, if Hiroya is the deity of Kidō, Naibu would be the Deity of Physical Combat. I once stated Kenji to be one of the greatest close-combat fighters on this wikia, well, Naibu is the best one I've seen so far - I choose to concider his level of physical strength to be equal to that of Kamui. And his physical provess to be even greater in total. There's also a misconception here in regards to him having swapped away Kidō for physical might, Kidō is an art of combat and it is completely dependant on the knowledge of the Shinigami in question: I can only imagine that Naibu was a skilled user of Kidō in his Shinigami days, and while its arsenal to him have lessened somewhat, it is fully possible for him to cast Kidō spells even with that little Spiritual Power (For reference, Rukia was able to cast Kidō spells up to level 33 after she had lost her Shinigami powers to Ichigo, despite having short to no Spiritual Power left) The metion of his Orator skills was a very nice addition, and it makes a good deal of sense given his disposition towards Diplomacy and persuasion, as well as to the abilities of his Zanpakuto. Afterwords This character gives me an invariably "Akatsuki" sort of vibe, and every time I read about him I think of how great he'd be if he was a member of such an organisation (There are many Akatsuki-Inspired Organizations on this wikia, but none of them fits the image, and yes, this includes your own Imawashi) - The reason for this sudden critic is simple, I think that the only way to create a successful Akatsuki-like organisation would be that every member is portrayed by a different Roleplayer, and allowing the general masses to join the organization, though with a set limit on the number (And of course, of the skill and reputation of those whom wish to create a character therein) The Imawashi's members are all made by you, and as such they don't give off too good an appeal to me, Seireitou's attempt is actually better, but it is still him who owns the majority of the characters; as a note, I had originally intended for Hiroya to be part of such an organisation (This should explain his immense powers and vide array of abilities and spells) ---- As for the final word, I give this article an 9/10, as though it had some flaws (Like every other article written by humans) it had many qualities which redeemed them and made them hard to notice, this is possibly a better character than even Kenji, my only chagrin is that it is painfully short (Though I suppose that is because he's not had too much roleplay)﻿